WRITTEN by Dr. Chris

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THE FIX // Is Sex Addiction Just an Excuse for Bad Behavior?

"Not only is calling someone a sex addict a convenient way to write off being a sexual predator and lacking empathy, but it’s also an attempt at trying to rehab a career. Sex addiction is not real."

MEL MAGAZINE // How Do We Treat Sex Addiction if It Isn’t Real?

It’s heartbreaking, as a therapist, to see multitudes of patients walk into my office thinking they’re sex addicts, often led by the hand of an angry partner, sometimes having just run away from years of pricey sex-addiction treatment that’s based on nothing more than the sex phobia and the miseducation of its founders and practitioners.

HORNET // In Sex, Don’t Knock It Until You’ve Tried It (At Least Three Times)

In our sex-phobic and slut-shaming culture, very few of us have been able to untangle the limitations caused by social norms and sex policing from great sex. Instead of being supported in an ongoing journey of erotic exploration, we are shamed and limited at every stage of our lives.

HORNET // Do the Pics You ‘Like’ on Instagram Reinforce Body Elitism and Toxic Masculinity?

Whether or not a guy lives up to the standard body — via overtraining, disordered eating or genetics — we are all held hostage and responsible for how we participate in or reproduce desirability politics and body norms.

RAGE MONTHLY // Gender Identity and Trauma Response

We are living in a post identity epoch and the labels and identities of the past have all been problematized. Words like “man,” “lesbian” and “gay” no longer explain the complexity of gender or sex and neologisms abound to communicate how people now want to be referenced or seen.

RAGE MONTHLY // Growing Sideways Sexually and Relationally

Psychological health and fitness are inherently built into marginalized and minority communities due to their ability to ignore institutionalized norms, leading to a truly alternative lifestyle of choice.

HORNET // You Are Actually Much More Sexually Fluid Than You Think

“It’s amazing that anyone has confidence in their “sexual orientation” in our current culture.”

HORNET // You’re Masturbating Wrong: Mindful Masturbation and Why Method Matters

“We develop masturbation habits that are pleasurable but also hardwired. Masturbation and self-pleasure enter our lives from the time we’re in utero and extend well into our elder years. And its traumatic legacy rarely gets challenged. Our masturbation habits rarely mature beyond what they were as kids: quick, quiet, alone and focused on genitals only and getting off as soon as possible in a hurried fashion.”

HORNET // Want to Enjoy Sex More? Then Focus on Erections Less

“We have a problematic obsession with railing and erections, just like in the movies! Penis-owners spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about their erections — how easy are they to get, to keep and how soon they ejaculate.

Leave your penis alone! It is not intended to perform — to get hard on demand, stay hard and not cum too soon.”

HORNET //How Sex Can Increase Your Body Esteem

“Are you hot enough to have sex? That’s the question lurking behind so much of the media we consume, the ads that are shoved in our face and the porn that we watch. Entire industries are built on the premise that we need to get our bodies ready at the gym, the mall and the dentist in order to have sex. Looking good and feeling good is the path to sex, we’re told. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, it’s completely backwards: Sex is your path toward self-love and greater body esteem.”

HORNET // Is STI Stigma Preventing You From Enjoying an Emotionally Safe Sex Life?

“Safe sex” often gets reduced to conversations about PrEP, condoms and STIs. These are important topics, but left out are the emotional and social aspects of safe sex, which cause deeper, longer lasting side effects. STI stigma still exists, and that stigma is often the most problematic part of having contracted an infection.
There is nothing shameful about STIs.”
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INTERVIEWS with Dr. Chris

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HORNET // Chris Donaghue Is Amber Rose’s Go-To Sex Doctor, and He’s a Badass

"The word “radical” has a bad rap these days... But when clinical sexologist, therapist, author and Loveline with Amber Rose co-host Dr. Chris Donaghue says it, there’s no hostility, negativity or fear. Instead, there’s reverence, respect and wonder. On Donaghue’s lips, radical is a holy philosophy and the cornerstone of his work, which is nothing short of a calling."
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MEL MAGAZINE // A Conversation With Dr. Chris, Loveline’s New Dr. Drew

What’s the most common question people have for you?
The number one question that people come in with — and they come in with it often — is, “Am I normal? Am I broken? Am I okay the way I am?” People think there’s a right way to be. Because from birth, we’re socialized away from anything authentic, trained in things like etiquette, and that there’s one right way to be. Healthy mental health is, in my mind, about being allowed to live in the world in the ways that make sense to you.

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HELLION MAGAZINE // Dr. Donaghue Exposes the End of Sex Norms: Our Dysfunctional Culture and Being on a Social Justice Mission

“Allowing people to be there sexual self very confidently. Usually isn’t needed for people whose sexuality meets majority’s definition of sex being okay. That’s usually needed for people whose definition fall outside the norms, who are having sex outside the lines. Your sexual style is open, polygamist, not gendered, gender, fat bodied and you want to be sexual. For those individuals who’ve been told that are not okay, that’s not attractive. Sex positivity is for that crowd. ”

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MEL MAGAZINE // The Rehabilitation of a Serial Sexual Abuser

“People like Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and Tiger Woods use the term ‘sex addict’ to get themselves off the hook,” says Dr. Chris Donaghue, a certified sex therapist, international lecturer and co-host of the Lovelinepodcast. “They’re saying, ‘I have an illness. Give me some empathy. I can’t be held accountable.’ But that’s not the case. They both repeatedly chose to not have any boundaries or impulse control and assault people sexually. That isn’t a disorder. That’s pathological narcissism.”
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THE WRAP // Masturbation as Harassment: Experts Try to Understand Bizarre Secret Behavior

“To whip your penis out and masturbate, it’s highly problematic and inappropriate in every single realm you can imagine. But if you’re dealing with a personality that believes they’re above the rules, as so many of these cases seem to be, you start operating on a continuum where rape and assault is on one end,” Chris Donaghue, a PhD in human sexuality and author of “Sex Outside the Lines,” told TheWrap.
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THE DAILY BEAST // Can a Kevin Spacey or Harvey Weinstein Really Be Treated for Sex Addiction?

“Sex addiction isn’t real and the treatment centers that practice it are actually practicing unethically,” Donaghue tells me. “It’s not a diagnosis that’s accepted by the American Psychological Association, nor can you bill it for insurance because the [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders] rejected it. So the people treating sex addiction are working on a model created by the treatment centers themselves. And they’re making a lot of money. So that’s bullshit right there.”
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MEN'S HEALTH // An Odd Byproduct of Frequent Masturbation Could Be a Better Body

“People who are confident sexually and masturbate more have that confidence show up in other areas, such as higher forms of employment,” Dr. Chris Donaghue, PhD, LSCW, CST, a sex therapist based in Los Angeles, told Men’s Health. “They take better care of their health, they have more body esteem. In my practice, I’ve noticed that people who are more sex-positive are more positive about their bodies as well.”
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REAL CLEAR | LIFE // Sex Expo New York in the Time of Trump

"Advocates of technology in the bedroom, like clinical sexologist Chris Donaghue and brand ambassador for sex-toy company TENGA, says that because 'the current administration perpetuates patriarchal culture and the laws [around sexulaity] are so male-driven, technology gives a platform of community to people who are in a sexual or body minority.'"
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MAN REPELLER // How Important Is Sex in Relationships?

“Sex is supposed to be — if you choose to make it so — about bonding, and a level of intimacy,” he says. “It’s a tool for partners to use for connection.”

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METRO // The United States of Masturbation needs sex toys for dudes

“As a sex therapist, I often recommend patients use sex toys as a way to enhance couples’ sex play, but more importantly to increase sexual and body esteem via masturbation."
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GLAMOUR // How to French Kiss

"What makes French kissing good is being present but also being passionate. Just be in the moment. When you’re French kissing with someone you’re saying 'I have passion for you. I want to connect deeper. I want to build intimacy with you.' It's a profound act of showing interest, care and love. You’re trying to communicate to someone that you care about them; don’t be so obsessed with technique."
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SUCCESS // Can You Really Be Successful at Both Business and Relationships?

“Business values are not same as healthy relational values, and they are often in complete opposition,” Donaghue says. “Business often requires no emotionality and is all about being rational, productive and answering, ‘What is this going do for me?’ ” he says. “Personal relationships are the opposite: They are going to do nothing for you! Just being is your only goal, and you often can’t schedule for it. The person who built an empire must unlearn much of what made them so successful if they want their relationship to work.”
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FATHERLY // 5 Ways to Reignite Sexual Intimacy In Your Marriage

"The beautiful chaos of parenthood tends to put sex on the back burner. And the deeper you fall into a sexless situation, the harder it can be to climb back out," says Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of Sex Outside The Lines and co-host of CBS’ Loveline with Amber Rose.
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SLUTEVER // Is It Possible to Masturbate Yourself to Enlightenment?

"I always try to back people off from making being “normal” their goal. I know it sounds cliche, but the goal should really be getting comfortable with who you are sexually, and finding beauty in the diversity that you bring."
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ROMPER // I Call My Partner "Daddy" In Bed Because It's Hot

"I think there is something truly powerful about sexualizing a term that is usually reserved for endearment. That’s feminist sex! Reclaiming a word and a role that is usually occupied by a male authority, your father, and using it to make your partner submit and to control them."
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THRILLIST // The Fact and Fiction of Open Relationships

“Cheating is an expected state of every relationship. It’s not ‘if,’ but ‘when.’ ‘Cheating’ needs to be downgraded from a relational act of emotional violence to one form of many relational injuries to be expected from well-meaning flawed humans. Cheating doesn’t injure. How cheating is conceptualized and dealt with, does.”
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WRITTEN by Dr. Chris

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